Go forth and multiply.

I thought this phrase was intended for men alone, now why do mice and roaches always want to bask in reflected glory? Do us a favor will you and STOP FLATTERING YOURSELVES! We humans have enough worries as it is.

But how something as small as you be so smart at the same time totally eludes me. They say dolphins are pretty intellectual creatures but I think they forgot to put rats in the equation. Is it because they experiment on you critters all the time that you might’ve developed some superior form of intelligence that is completely beyond us? Intelligence far from those developed by dolphins and elephants?

I mean, we can’t even mention your kind at home for fear of being struck by your wrath. We give you ridiculous codenames like: R-A-T (assuming you guys don’t know how to spell) or M-O-U-S-E. The latest codename that you go by with is “Mickey”. We have to change your codename as often as we change toothbrushes because we get this sick feeling that you can eventually decode the darn codesnames! That is how drastic this battle has become.

You are my nemesis and I yours. I declare that much.

My secret weapon? Although, before I say this, I certainly hope you don’t have friendster accounts as well. So here goes, my secret weapon that will become not so secret anymore…Baygon flypaper, together with this expensive glueboard especially designed to trap mice and a dash of ketchup flavored Piknik as bait that you seemingly find completely irresistible. Bwahahahahaha…But wait! There’s more!

You think that was expensive? Check this out: I’ve recently discovered this plug-in pest repellant that might very well become my next best friend--next to Golda and my iPOD, that is. What you do is just plug it in and with just so much as a teeny-weeny blinking light it will ward off nuisance mice in a jiffy. Amazing? For real! The price is certainly not so amazing but what with all that I’ve spent buying Baygon flypaper I might as well be their stockholder. So I will swallow my pride and shell out my cash next payday to buy that hi-tech pest control with a 1 year warranty, cross my fingers, plug it in, and rest all my faith in that tiny electric box.

I lay down my cards and you lay down yours.

Either you get annihilated or leave us be, Mickey.

The battle has just begun.